We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
