we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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