well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
