he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
