Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
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