Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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