..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
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