The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Dicks are not precious.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
