He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
