He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
