Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
