I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
