so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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