you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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