Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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