Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
