she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I'm getting married
To pizza
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
