During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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