Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
