Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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