Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize