I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
