I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize