Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
this boner is exhausting
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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