Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
