we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
