Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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