Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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