Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
