Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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