In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
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