I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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