i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
