i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize