Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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