We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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