One girl and one boy is just not enough.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Randomize
