I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
