To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
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I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
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We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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