No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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