u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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