just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize