she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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