New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
