dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
When are your genitals available?
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
