if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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