It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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