loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
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