I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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