the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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