you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
People in love make me want to vomit
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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