Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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