that's an acceptable place to lick
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Randomize
