yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a burrito and a hug.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize